Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody.
Second entry..fragile life,brittle death
06-30-01 | 1:15 A.M. Central

This is my second entry to my grand masterpiece or a diary. Though, this entry will not be very long, for I have to go to work early in this beautiful morning. Heh, I get to wake up at a whopping 5:45 A.M. Splendid, no?

I think I should say something really noble here like my esteemed friend, Alyson, always accuses me of doing. It's not that I often say noble things, I guess, as it is that I let out my views through the peaceful mannerisms that I, personally, enjoy. I guess it takes a great listener and a like-mind to really catch all those "noble" things too. Thanks Alyson, you're my friend and I love you.

Fragile life and brittle death? Brittle life and fragile death? I don't think so. I have someone close to me losing someone close to them. It has caused some extreme tragedy for them, a person who has already lost more than their fair share of loved ones, and through their devastation.. I am affected. Everyone is effected. You are affected. In some cosmic way every life sustains some overlooked balance in the world. I'm sure most of you have seen that life affirming movie "It's A Wonderful Life," and it's in that since that we all have some affect to the loss of each and every creature. Not just a human. And as necessary as their life is, however long or short it may be, their death is just as much a necessity. I mean.. look at the earthly community of some random forest. Bugs galore.. too many could be birthed and inevitably destroy that great forest. So we have frogs and spiders and such. Too much of those would create damage to the forest, so they too have predators and expiration dates. See what I mean? That bug on your arm you just swatted... was as much a part as you and your life.. all our lives, as you are to anyone. The only difference is, you have mostly indifference to the now squashed being. No emotion. It's not human, and therefore, does not deserve [as much] sympathy. I respect monks, Buddhists as they respect me, my life.. and all life.

As for fragile life and brittle death, I think life is too durable to be truly fragile. When we fall to the floor, we do not shatter like glass. People of health get back up to drop again some other time. I mean, people get shot and stabbed and brutally maimed by escape gorilla-as Bobby was in "The WaterBoy"(heh.. great movie)-yet we survive to tell our fantastic tale. Some due die, though and I find it sad that death is a reality that we must all come to personal terms with and eventually succumb to, but like I said.. it's necessary. Even when it's the ones we so dearly love and would never want to depart from.. but we all have to lose someone. Perhaps that's the benefit of being a loner.. less loved ones to lose. Less pain to endure.

Brittle death. Definitely not. I believe almost all death is violent. People were saying that the lethal injection of Timothy McVeigh was violent. I agree and hope they see it the same way I do. No one really wants to die.. they fight and fight to keep their place in the realm of life and when that skeletal hand of Death itself points our way, we become terrorists to death..hitting it with everything we got for another breath of our oh so precious air. Struggle like no other, we fight with the rage and fury of a thousand ages trying to cling to life as though maybe.. just maybe we can. Is that not violent? A person passing away in their sleep dies no less violently, but we take solace in it because we can't realize the struggle. All we can perceive is that serene facade of a sleeping person "giving in" to the much stronger forces of nature. It's still violent.

I do praise those who embrace death. Not as some macho phrase or lifestyle like someone living by the modern sword-gun-and dying by such. I speak of those who completely embrace the alternate reality of being deceased. The ones who do not will their death, but accept that it is what will happen. I wish I could be one of them. I fear little because I have little reason to fear.. but I do fear death. I yearn for immortality and could cope with the death's of every person I ever knew...so long as I didn't fall to the same fate.

Well, I hope my dear, fellow human will continue to be as strong through this dour ordeal as she as been so far. I do not have her strength and I believe that if I was her..a complete breakdown would be certain in my not too distant future. Heh, strange how people can be strangers at one point and within what seemed a flash.. become as close as I feel me and her have. For the short time I've known her, she already means some great deal to me. I hope I mean the same. Now, though, now I sleep. Work is looming relentlessly over my head. Life's tough and full of things we don't like... that's what makes it perfect.

Fond Farewells.

Darren the Adorkable

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