Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody.
Fourth entry. Digress into my "philosophical" babble.
07-05-01 | 3:49 A.M. Central

What can a speechless person say that will give much needed clarity? That will point me in the right direction? That will not resemble inane grunts and sighs of discomfort with primitive linguistics? I do not know. I know what I want, don't get me wrong. Heh, unlike women-no offense ladies.. I don't quite agree with it anyway-I always know what I want. That's not to say I know what I want right now or how to get what I want, but that I know what I want as in what I want for the culimative me. Oh well. No matter.

"Oh well." "No matter." These words bring about some connotation of a person seemingly not caring? As though the words were true and honest. Though, we do care, I think, and that's why we dare utter these words of indifference. Defense mechanisms within ourselves. I know I care. I know that of the things I offer indifference.. I care a great deal for. I'm not some expert on human behavior, but.. I know what's going on with me, and however eccentric from the splendid race I may be..I'm not too different from all the rest of you lovely folk. Some say that's depressing. I find it uplifting. I seek unity. Unity through diversity. It's a hard concept I realized on my own.. I'll elaborate if you so desire, just drop me a line or something.

Zen Buddhism has certain "formats" I guess you could say and has many a number of different teaching methods. There is a method for every roshi-the title that follows a name and signifies a teacher, a regarded title that is often thrown loosely about, but not in the world of Zen-there is out there. I take solace in that. Some teachers will prescribe certain methods and require that in order to "pass" one will have to solve many a koan. A koan is like a realization.. there are specific questions in which one must find an answer to in the Zen world and the answer must be of one's one divine realization. Not every epiphany is a koan though, surely only the ones that lead to enlightenment. Anywhoo, I believe that the realization of unity through diversity should be a koan if it is not, or something like it, already a koan.

Not the world, but the universe.. the realms of existence and nonexistence. are like this infinite sea. Shapeless, limitless. No sea floor, no sea level where the surface lies. However, we are all engulfed in this sea as its inhabitants, not its prisoners.Through this, we are all connected as one huge mass.. despite our individual differences. All we can be is a ripple or a wave... though, together.. we are this thing.. we are what is.. and isn't. We are the sea.

Getting pretty redundant, huh? Only worse with each post since it can simply appear the same words reshaped over and over again. I suppose I'm just boggled by the impressive reality in which I survive. It's so intricate and delicately durable.. Magnificent.

Survival.. that brings me to another point I wish to publish here. Humans survive. The Earth survives. Life.. survives. Think about that. Think about the struggle one goes through to simply.. survive. Ponder the third worlds on our planet and wonder, if for just a moment, all the challenge to survive just one day at a time. Do you go to sleep every night hoping that you can manage to keep breathing the whole night through? That you can find food somewhere so that you won't starve? I don't, and this is what I speak of. We, the living, only survive in this "great" day and age. We need the THRIVE. Earth needs to THRIVE. Nature, above all, needs to THRIVE. Surely a decrease in survival rate of many a thing will need to decrease.. sadly enough humans are number one on this list.. but it would end survival and dawn the age of thriving.

I'm in no way advocating that some people should go off and die, no.. I'm suggesting that we need to be more responsible for the lives we birth. No, not moderate one child per family.. but.. that every family would not bare the "Brady Bunch" or something. It's difficult to explain this concept...but I believe it's a concept that needs a home in the reality of every living souls core. Why do you think that when a crocodile lays those leathery eggs.. that eight out of ten won't make it past the first year. Sad and depressing as it is, it is Nature's birth control.. the tyranny of welcome balance, and in truth.. entropy and such keeps us from suffering a worse sadness.. a worse depression. It saves us and everything, in certain paradox, from extinction. Our survival.. our thriving.. ensures the same in some strange way the same for that colony of intelligent life many a galaxy away. Instead of Matellica's "Sad but true" ,this is "strange but true." At least to me. : )

Well, you folks have witnessed yet another internal defense mechanism of myself. Instead of addressing the issue I truly wish to publish, I managed to digress into far off topics that put me in a better state all together, but force a mental occupation that in turn sets adrift the thing which remains buoyant in my mind; clinging constantly to the surface of my consciousness. Oh well, it's 4:44 A.M. I'm going to bed. Good morning folks, and sweet dreams.

Fond Farewells,

Darren the Adorkable

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