I can literally feel her crying right this moment. Those violent jerks of her entire form, that snot leaking out of her nose. The warm tears burning new paths down her cheek.

Even that wet, yet somehow warm, scent is filling my nostrils. I feel like I always did when I was around her. Kind of like I'm sedated, but more of a drug meant for the heart.

I can't help but feel like I should be the one crying. I don't really cry. I hardly even shed tears. This, though.. this I could cry myself to sleep with, and when I woke at noon the next day, my eyes would still be flooded. They'd be flooded for weeks.

I'm not crying because I want her to be happy. My tears won't give her that peace. They won't make her smile or feel better. And I know that I'll be better one day.

Life is good. Even now. Right this second life is so beautiful that I could easily let loose a tear if I wished. I don't wish it, though. I want it so bad, but I don't wish it. One day, I'm going to let loose of all the emotion inside of me and give it to someone so that I can start anew. It won't be long.

She'll fall asleep soon. Dreaming dreams that will coat her in sugar-sweet warmth. I won't invade her dreams-not to disturb them, not even to see the peace that will come to her aide. She will be happy tomorrow. She'll get comfort that she wants. She'll see the new day through and on Saturday she will have the time of her life.

Tonight I will work out. I will break my body and give up only when I can no longer move. Tomorrow I will attend a meeting, maybe go out for ice cream, and perhaps satisfy an urge. Right now, though... I will smile. I am happy for her coming peace. I hope she is happy, that's all I care about right now.

Comment <-- | -->

Current
Profile
E-mail
Notes
Pictures
D-land
Flashes of High School
Summer of Change
No Brass, No ammo
Lost in Translation

Last Five

And that's that.
Referenced #2
Referenced
To write them.
Heart vs mind.