Mimi came over today. We were originally going to go out and get ice cream, but she was full. I'm glad, my wallet is getting pretty slim.

We talked for a few hours. It was rather nice. I showed her the pack of x-acto blades I have-she asked how I got the rose on my arm. She let it go like it was nothing. I thank her for that.

She comforted me in her Mimi way. Made me feel a lot better, actually. I told her I'd get trashed with her-something we have never shared before. You might ask what's going through my mind to tell Mimi something like that. Well, I'll tell you.

I know that if I don't break one promise I'll break another. So I decided that I'll break only as few as possible. On top of that, I'll only break the promises that mean the least and will do the least to me in long-term matters.

Come Mardi Gras, I should be as drunk as I've ever been before and loving every minute of it. Sooner or later, perhaps fuck myself up with some more potent state-altering drugs. Acid should be back in town pretty damn soon, if not, then I remember the basics to making German blue-gel. Then I always have Mimi to help me out, but I don't think I want her to give me anything.. just be there and laugh with me.

I'm eating Wheat Thins and watching television. I might watch a movie later. I'm doing better. Stable for the moment, but lately I've been so cracked out with my emotions that to say it has been an "emotional roller coaster" would be false-no roller coaster in the known world has nearly as many twists, turns, rises and falls.

Bittersweet can work in two ways, I now notice. The past 3, nearly 4 months have been bittersweet. Every day for nearly 3 months has been bittersweet. It has always been that the good comes and then bad. The good is still nice, but the bad makes it so horrible that it wasn't really worth it. Well, today was different. It was bad till the end, then it was good. The good was still not worth all the bad, but I do like this form of bittersweet much more, though. At least it ends on a good note.. Hope is something I don't need, but it does help...

Thank you Mimi. You are a true friend and I'm sorry that I haven't always believed it. Thank you, Mimi. Thank you.

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