Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody.
Fifty-third Entry. Anywhere I want to go.
07-31-2003 | 1:04 a.m.

Yes, it is another late entry. I'm incredibly backlogged! Only a few more. Besides, you should be happy! You're getting a flood of activity! Activity that you would have otherwise completely missed out on! Be warned, this one is scathing...

3:20 PM

My father claims that he is quiting his cigarette addiction. He wanted us to clap for him because he only smoked six cigarettes through the duration of a night. What an accomplishment, let me break out the champagne. And on top of that, he's taking cigarettes from my brother..and when Bryan is out and asks for a cigarette, my dad acts like it's some great, personal offense. If I was a smoker and someone asked me for a smoke, I'd tell them to shove it. And if it was my dad, I couldn't care less...if he came into my room while I was asleep to pilfer my smokes, I'd go into his wallet and take out the money for a new pack.

Anyway... We have no money, whatsoever, and it seems that they spend twice as much as what they have coming in-my parents. I really don't mind living poor, nor would I care if I lived on the streets. I do not, however, want to live on the streets because my parents spent their last few dollars on ice for their liquor. Yes, our ice machine isn't making ice fast enough for them, and the ice trays...out of the question...so they send us up to the store to buy ice..sugar..koolaid..with a check that they know is going to bounce. Can you tell me what is wrong with the picture? What's that? It would take too long and leave me with a list too long to measure? Thought so.

Well, my parents are trying to tell me and Bryan that we need jobs to support the family. Namely Bryan. They feel that he needs to pull his weight-which I agree with-but that he should carry their weight as well. I'm tempted to get a job, but really, I know what would happen...I'd give them their portion of my check and my mom would buy two bottles of rum rather than one..and my dad would smoke twice as much and possibly even buy himself a second 24 pack of tasteless beer.. That crappy beer, you know, where it's the carbonation that gets you drunk rather than the alcohol content..and if you burp, you're suddenly sober. So having a job would mean me working so they can be drunk longer. I don't think so.

In three days I go to court. I owe the court $210 dollars because I showed up fifteen minutes early to show the judge, who was an hour late, that I do have insurance and registration. Problem: I'd be lucky to have 50 cents. Anotherwords, I might get thrown in jail because the judicial system is designed to royally screw the poor. Since my mom's boss is such a great example of a good human being, though, he's going to court with me..and if it turns out that I go to jail, he'll pay it himself. Hopefully, I can just work something out, like community hours or something. The Army can't do any processing until I clear the fines... Didn't I say Mobile is a prison?

There is some good news, though. Because I made above a 50 on my ASFAB, when I go up to Montgomery for my physical they can garuntee where I want to go after basic training. Now, I really can go to Hawaii...isn't that great!? You want to hear something better? I can go overseas! I can pick Russia, Germany, Spain...you name it, for my station. And for that certain someone out there, I'm pretty sure New Zealand is an option as well. It almost makes me happy that America feels the need to have power in everyone else's nations... I hate America.

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Flashes of High School
Summer of Change
No Brass, No ammo
Lost in Translation

Last Five

And that's that.
Referenced #2
To write them.
Heart vs mind.