Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody.
Sixty-second Entry. Veggie for life!
08-05-2003 | 11:51 p.m.

I was in the grocery store yesterday with my mom when it hit me. We were in the back of Winn Dixie where the meat is packaged in neat rows that are mirrored into infinity. The strips of steak seemed more red than usual. Covered in the blood that once gave that animal life. It's essence frozen and stagnant on it's muscles and tendons and fat. There was no respect for the life once had. My mother poking at a plastic-covered glob of ground chuck...investigating it for flaws...her mind fixated on the delicacy it was sure to offer her. I realized with a sudden certainty that I was not going to be eating meat ever again unless it's "life or death" affair. Even then..I might choose to starve.

My mother is overweight. There's nothing wrong with a few extra pounds. I honestly don't find fault with whatever the scale under her feet says. The rule of the jungle, though, states that one should only kill what they need. To slay an animal and turn it away because their guts don't look as appetizing as the other's is a blasphemous thought. It does not occur in nature. It occurs in man, though. It is common in man's society. And my mother is a perfect example of that point. She might not slay the animal herself, but there are plenty of other alternatives for her..my dad..my brother..and everyone else to take. Soy is better for you, anyway, and in my personal opinion..it tastes better, too. The law of the jungle is not the law of man..Two different jungles entirely...

I was never too sure of why I became a vegetarian either time. I never really knew why I kept it up, or even if I should. I know what sparked it both times, that much I can say. The first time I had watched how many slaughterhouses killed two birds with one stone...They would lift a cow by the neck with a strong, steel chain and drop it again and again on a metal plane with numerous platforms and drop the cow again and again...to tenderize the meat while killing the cow in the process. It's supposed to make the meat taste extra juicy I suppose. I don't think any slaughterhouse uses that method anymore..

The second time, I became one after a religious gathering. I lack a defined religion, but I am highly religious. It was an introduction to "Inner Light and Inner Sound." I must admit, it was very interesting. In the two hours that I was there, I myself witnessed uninfluenced proof of what they in reference to. See, they asked us to experience two exercises without giving us the meaning behind them so that we wouldn't be allowed to falsify the results. Then, after each exercise, we would say what we saw and what we heard..And each of us had similar results in both cases. Results that were predetermined by their beliefs. It was enough to convince many of the people, but not me. I'll give them credit for having a very viable religion, but it really wasn't a religion. It required personal beliefs about "God" and everything holy. Basically, it was a manner of meditation to harmonize the soul and place it in the hands of a Master that is alive and Holy.

A Master. A man that exists in the present. I might have witnessed his arm in one of the exercises, but that is an easy task. There are ways to get people to dream of you..ways to get strangers to learn your name..your face..anything you want. It's a little more advanced than astral projection. It's like a spammer's version of astral projection. All they need is your "astral address," if you will, and all you have to do to give it to them, is say a few names...process a few thoughts...participate in a few exercises. If I wasn't an avid researcher of religion and religious thought, the mere fact that I saw his arm might have won me over. I mean, I still practice portions of Inner Light and Inner Sound, but only at my own discretion...and for means that I see fit.

Even though I didn't wholly swallow the beliefs, they said something that I did already believe..in part. "Every being has it's own energy. It radiates it's inner essence. To eat another animal is to take that being's essence into yourself." That sounds like a good thing, right? You've heard things like that before, right? "Eat fish, it'll make you smart." The thing is, our actions are reflected in life. Life is a pond, and when you move, the water around you moves in suit. Therefore, all actions have a reaction...some good, some bad. To take another being's essence into yourself is not a deed looked upon with a smile. It is not a wholesome thing to annihilate your neighbor. Just personal beliefs, I guess...but I have great karma, and I can't argue about that. I've always had great karma...but I've always been prone to shift towards good deeds rather than negative ones.

Karma seems like such a mystical thing to some people. It's not. It's logic and science. If you complain a lot and are verbally abusive, then chances are that no matter how cautious you may be at work, you're going to slip sooner or later. When you slip, your boss has a fair chance of taking note of that particular thing. Then, when you decide to move on to another job, you leave without posting notice and tell your boss to shove it... Well, you need a reference from your last place of employment in order to acquire this new job. You can either leave it out..and suffer the consequences-interveiwers don't like seeing that slot empty-or you can include it...and suffer the consequences-chances are your old boss isn't going to be so keen on giving you a favor of a good reference.

Most karma works that way..So eating meat isn't going to make you evil...and not eating it isn't going to make you holy and immortal...Science and logic.

At any rate, the Army will be able to cater to my particular diet...no meat, and preferably no eggs...Well, I'll eat things made with eggs no problem..but I'd rather not eat the eggs on their own. I'm confusing, I know. But at least I didn't take the "Inner Light and Inner Sound diet" to heart. No dairy..no egg products.. Nothing from animals. Everything from the land. I don't think so! Well, not yet anyway...Save that for when I'm finally a hermit.

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