My shift is a troubled exchange of negative to positive, and the exchange rate is far from the greatest. But, we all have to start somewhere, right? It's necessary in order to reclaim something very dear to me....my contentment.

On Monday, there will be a lot of change occurring in a sudden blast of newness. It's going to be like parenthood. You think you got all this time to get ready and prepare, but when it actually happens, you realize you're not prepared for shit and that it was ridiculous to even try to prep for such a thing... However, this is on a much smaller scale.

We are getting a new platoon sergeant, I'm swapping squads, and a lot of the newly arrived NCO's are going to make life a little more painful than it needs to be. The new platoon sergeant is going to break our weak bodies into as many pieces as it takes to make us into his image of a high-speed unit/soldier. The new squad has a detached demeanor. The ones that have been in the squad prior have a very small sense of cohesion. I'm coming from a squad that is more like a family than I thought it possible. I'm going to miss it, but perhaps I can bring a bit of that cohesion with me. I hope so, cause if I can't...I'm going to be hurting at work when we really need to get something done in an effective haste. And the new NCO's want this unit to become what it has needed to be for a very long time. It's a working unit, but everyone still maintains a civilian "fuck-off" attitude. Half of the unit is fuck-ups waiting for their opportunity to screw up. We need these new NCO's to make life difficult. To give a little discipline to those who need it, and to serve it to those who don't regardless. They want to help, and sadly, that's the best way to help those that are slacking as a soldier.

I need something productive to fill my free time. I intend to sign up for courses soon. I have my eyes set on an astronomy class and an algebra refresher course. Unfortunately, I only have the spare dedication for one at present. I'm not sure which one it's going to be, yet, but I will make a decision before the opportunity passes. Also, I found the help I was looking for concerning correspondence courses. It's about time I start worrying about promotion points. I don't want to be a specialist for the duration of my enlistment. And I'm going to start reading the -10 a whole lot more. As much as I want to shift to an 18 series, I'm a 15u. I need to be a proficient 15u. I'm tired of being treated like a four-year-old. I hated the thought of baby-sitters when I needed them, and I still abhor the thought.

First thing, first, though...I need to get through this weekend. It's Chusok, Korean Thanksgiving/Christmas type of deal as I was summarized by a hadashi who just wanted to continue on with another task. And naturally, we have a curfew to be back on post between 9 PM and 5 am. Not only that, but I've been called in to do gate guard. I'm reliable and they know I won't fuck it up, so, of course, I get to stand around from 0600 to 1800 on Sunday to ensure all is well. Not just that, either. Tomorrow I have a room inspection and have to go up to the hanger in BDU's to do a toolbox inventory. Another words, I have only enough of a weekend to get enough sleep as to not become homicidal. I'm going to force myself to enjoy it. I've had a miserable time of it for the past two or three weeks, and I'm determined to change that. I'm going to do my best, and if it isn't good enough, I'll make it work some way, some how. Being reliable comes with its own rewards, at least I don't get yelled at for being mentally defective.

The First Sergeant knows me by name, now. Normally, that would indicate that I'm a horrible example of what a soldier should be. Luckily, I'm doing a pretty good job here, and I'm getting noticed for it. She isn't so bad when she knows that you're squared away. At least I have that going for me, and this weekend is only aiding to that factor.

Silver lining: on Monday, I was supposed to have Combat Life-Saver training. Learn how to stab people with needles and give them accurate first-aid for heat injuries, cold-weather injuries...injuries in general. A fun course. However, I have been switched to 40-hour block on Driver's training. Why is this silver lining? The 40-hour block is an easy week. You get off early, or at least on time. You don't get yelled at unless you're a moron beyond repair. And, since I got pulled out of it before I could finish the second half of my first day the last time I got sent....and still wound up licensed on three vehicles...I'm glad to go. I thought I skipped entirely over that week of mitigated bullshit. And now I'll actually get the chance to learn how to start, much less drive, the vehicles I'm licensed on before I'm expected to act as chauffeur for (insert important name with rank far exceeding my own, here) ___________.

Also, I'm a good soldier and my higher-ups are finally taking that into account. I hope that translates into sending me to CLS at a later date-when I'm not the reliable one being called to come in early or stay late to do aircraft maintenance. We'll see, though, right?

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And that's that.
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To write them.
Heart vs mind.