The other day I had a good conversation with a stranger that happened upon my diary. And to Jenn I related a wonderful memory I have that is still fresh that I've shared with no one else. I'm like that. I often confide in strangers. And I'm always open for all; I never close up unless I'm seriously ticked off.

"Sunseeker." The word stenciled on a winnabago that Mimi passed as I sat in the passenger's seat. The word struck me instantly, and I had a vision of the faceless heroes driving always on the horizon in an endless chase for the sun. Questing for the eternal day. It was a gorgeous image in my mind, one I'm sure I'll never forget. And I looked over at Mimi...rushing through traffic hurried by her obligation. I smiled and looked away. Relating it to her..then, there...would have meant and been nothing. I don't relish wasting something on nothing.

These days, I've more passion. More drive than ever before. Talking with 'Chele, I wrote this:
" Gavin Fyre [10:53 PM]: Hmmm. Where to start? When I was a Freshman, my life was fresh and everything I felt was intense. The breeze, the rustle of leaves, a smile... Even a cough or a clammy-skin fever.. Everything was ecstasy to me. I had so much drive and passion. And I slowly lost parts of that...it drifted and I couldn't track it down because I was searching endlessly for that...unwilling to discover anything new. And by the time I was a senior, I was an empty shell. Nothing mattered to me, nothing could drive me forward into
Gavin Fyre [10:56 PM]: progress...or at least away from my stalemate with apathy. And at Basic...I felt it all return in a flood that kept me in euphoria. At AIT, it was there, but dim. And while in Korea, it's been here, but dormant. Until a few months ago. The passion I have now..the drive...far exceeds the limits of my youth. The euphoric sense of life may have faded, but that's not what I yearn for. It's this drive...this ability to constantly want more.. To do more and give more and be more. That's something that I wouldn't
Gavin Fyre [10:57 PM]: want anyone in the world to lose once they felt its power over the human soul. I...love it. "

I might get pissed off to the point of graphic visualization-my mind can become the grim, gruesome grave that none would wish to visit-but I always find my way back to my self-imposed purpose. Who gives a damn if someone or something does or doesn't have a purpose for me? I have a purpose...and that suits me fine.

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And that's that.
Referenced #2
Referenced
To write them.
Heart vs mind.