My weekend is done. My mother and Mimi have left me. I had an absolute blast this weekend with them and Akin. It was...quite the relief I needed.

I love that girl. Pops was talking to Mom about her over the phone recently, and he said, "She's our saving grace. If Darren wasn't with Mimi, he'd be going Special Forces." He's right. If I wasn't with her, I'd probably be leaving for it in a few months from now. And should my relationship with Mimi not work, I may end up going SF then. I pray that it works with her. Not because the SF bit at all...but because I don't want to fathom the thought of losing her. And if I lose her, I know she'll be lost to me.

I still want it. Special Forces. I know how many lives I could save. I know of the good I'd bring. And sure, there'd be moments in my life that would haunt me. But if my troubled sleep and torment can save the lives of others--countless others--then I'm willing. More than willing, I'm Gung-Ho. But if I can spend my life with Mimi, I'll never do anything intentionally to disrupt that lifestyle.

Anyway, I'm 21 now. And tired.

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