I went drinking with some friends, not really looking for anything other than the bar. And yet, last night, opportunity knocked on my door not once, but several times. The waitress giving me the free shots. The woman looking for "a scent"-which is very odd due to the fact I was wearing Axe deoderant. The two friends, one of whom was either straight edge or underage..and gathering by her flirtations, I'm fairly positive she wasn't straight edge. The shy girl that stared out of the corner of her eyes. The woman trapped in a circle of her friends but still very...forward despite the distance. And the two sisters. Not sista's. They were sisters.

I had a good night. It could have been a blast that turned into another one of my "no shit, there I was" stories. But, well, I didn't want it. I didn't want them. I want Her. I want Mimi. And not a single one of those women had anything to offer me that could compare to Her.

Right now, I don't know where I stand in this relationship. Or, for that matter, if there even still is a relationship. If she needs a moment to deliberate, I'll give it to her. And I'll not stray from Her while she's making up that tick tock of Hers. I love Mimi, and if I've gone overseas and stayed faithful to girls that were cheating on me, I'm not about to cheapen the woman I want.

Sooner or later, it's going to become clear where me and Her stand. I can wait, and will wait. It's been a week without word. Perhaps I'll have to go another. Perhaps a month. And as generous and pathetic a month not only sounds, but is, I owe Her that much.

Sadly, for all the strength I once had, I am weak now. For those dark nights are filled with more void. The silence is deeper, the longing harsher. And I know that this time, if I don't tend to myself, I'll finally break. I'm not about to let that happen. But I can bare three more weeks for Her.

I love Her. And I pray every night that She sleeps sound. That She chooses the path that will bring Her the most joy. I pray, also, that I am that path. But if I'm not, at least she'll be happy. That's all I really ask.

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