I can be so happy in my dreams sometimes. Everything was how it's "supposed" to be, and God, it was good.

In other news, the aircraft decided to take some more blood from me. Appearantly, it hasn't had it's dose in awhile, so it cut my head open. It's disguised by hair, and looks worse than it really is, but it's still nothing I want to pick at.

During lunch, I saw an internet clip that made me queasy. It was a fight, and it was more violent than any fight should be. I see things like that, and can't help but think how I could have ever been violent in my life. To want that kind of harm on anyone else. It's enough to make me want to vomit. I don't ever want to fight again.

I fear getting into a fight, now. I know if I ever get close to fighting someone, that clip is going to be in my mind. I don't want that happening to me, so I know I'll explode with everything I have. I fear what I'm capable of doing to someone else, as well as what can be done to me. There is too much violence in this world, I don't need to add to it...

My body is getting more battered by the day. Day to day life is starting to wear on me, and all I can do is whisper the word "rest", for it's as loud as I can muster my tired voice.

This weekend, my parents are coming up to see me. We're going to spend the weekend in Nashville, and you know what? I'm looking forward to it. I miss seeing them. While it might not be "rest" it is a reprieve. Either way, I'll be glad to see them.

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And that's that.
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To write them.
Heart vs mind.