I have tired everything to let go. I have hated and despised. So violently that would shake with my jaws clenched as tears came to my eyes. I have tried apathy, to the point where life itself has lost all purpose. I've tried burrial, suffocating under three metric tons of avoidance.

To this day, though, I still have my bloodied nail dug in as deep as they'll cut. My knuckles white and my lungs heaving. I can't let loose. I can't let go. God, I've tried.

I know what I need, but I don't want it. It'll come regardless. This time, though, I'm going to force it to come to me. I'm not walking into the Lion's Den again.

I have limits. One day, I will break. I pray that after that day...I'll mend.

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And that's that.
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Heart vs mind.