I stand here, now, where I thought was the end and realize it's just the start. I guess in some ways, it's a little sad, disappointing. Overall, though, it's exciting. Thrilling, really.

I am in great physical condition. I can run all day and all night; I'll stop from boredom rather than exhuastion. Looking at me, though, it's not so obvious. For while I may be in shape, I have a journey ahead to get the shape that I'm after.

While the majority of the world tests the elastic in the waistbands of their pants this season, I will be shrinking bowl of jolly jelly around the midsection. Not just that, but I will be working on all parts of my body from head to toe.

I have a few goals that will take me into next Summer achieving them. Broader, more muscular shoulders. A bigger, stronger chest. Bigger, more capable arms. A solid core, complete with abs (6 pack, not 8...I still don't know how I feel about the way 8 looks). Sleeker, more toned thighs. Thicker calves. The classic "V" shape. And, in summary, a much leaner appearance.

At first, even I thought I was doing this for others. For "acceptence" as one would put it. And then came the realization...I've never really actively relied on my more fit appearence for anything. It hasn't done anything to bring others towards me. I'm still just as single as when I was fat. Actually, I've been single for a much longer time frame while fit than I ever was when I was chubby, or for that matter, even fat.

Yet, I still keep doing it. If anything, I become even more obsessed with it. Spending more and more time in the gym. It has nearly consumed my free time, and I don't go out to "flaunt" it. When I'm done, I go to my room in the barracks filled with guys and rest.

I do it for me. I do it soley for my own health and welfare. I do it for strength and life. When I've run three miles of off and on sprints to the point where I'm dry-heaving while I'm still running....my leg muscles searing...my sides cramping...and each breath getting more shallow by the second...I never feel quite so good. The world is spinning, and I feel like I'm still moving...still galloping forward...that first sip of water is like heaven. Cold and refreshing. I do it for me.

I love lifting weights. I love living healthy. I feel so very much better than I ever did before. If I don't go the doctor route..I'll definitely go the personal trainer route and maybe open up or manage a gym some day.

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And that's that.
Referenced #2
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To write them.
Heart vs mind.