Bewildered sprinting in the powdery dust as bullets fly on by... Hatred and fear swirling together into one giant knot of circumstance. The rotors spin and clap in the air.. It's a break for freedom... for life..for an escape from the suffocating sense of impending failure.. All just a dream of what should be?

Is "happiness" being someone else? Or is there a certain stoic joy in being yourself no matter whom that may be?

Loud music and broad, random thoughts filling dark, lonely rooms. Stuffed to the breaking point with urges and kept from cracking by a shaky resolves.. a tempted willpower.

Funny that man should think the sunsets are so beautiful and yet fear the night it signals that's coming. Perhaps we are happier to see things ending than to actually have them end? Sometimes there's hope that there's end in sight no matter how much we might not want an end? Thanatos and eros.. how different is our death wish from our libido?

Not all attraction is to beauty.. provocative is not always beautiful..but it IS alluring all the same..

School starts before too long.. maybe that will clear my cluttered mind and occupy my idle hands. Alone to my own devices has never proved productive...

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And that's that.
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To write them.
Heart vs mind.